What do you do?

I haven't written in a while. So many things had happened since I last wrote. Doesn't matter what I write. Nothing is new under the Heavens. Corruption is nothing new - I'm not just talking about corruption of the political level. The age old corruption from the time of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, the temptation from the serpent called the Devil.

Our enemy, though now may have taken a new form, is attacking the Church from inside - the family. It's gone through St Peter's stronghold - the Vatican, now it's attacking the very core of society. I will be more precise: My family.

So let me ask you, what do you do when the people who are supposed to be in charge are not taking charge? Then you realise you're the adult now, and you are in charge. What do you do with such responsibility? I've always been just the "assistant" to the adult, like an apprentice. Now I feel like the burden I am already shouldering as the "apprentice" is getting even heavier as the adults in my life cease to be adults.

All I can do is just to continue to hope, to hope in the boundless mercy and unconditional love of God. To pray without ceasing. To continue to hope in times of great despair. Even when the people you look up to can no longer give you that hope you're looking for, because they are merely reflecting the light of Christ. And sometimes their light fades, too. We need each other, we need to "help the helper" (a line a heard from "The Mighty Macs" - awesome movie, by the way).

It's high time now for me to delve deeper into my relationship with Jesus. Only Jesus can help me now, when no one else in this world can give me the comfort and rest I am seeking. St Augustine said that "my soul is restless until it rests in You." And a commentary on a Gospel recently spoke about a "God-shaped void" in our hearts that only God can fill.

My endless seeking for truth in this world has led me nowhere good. So I will stop seeking answers in this world - because the answer can never be found here. Earlier at Mass, Lord, I prayed a prayer during the raising of the host at the altar, and you gave me sign through the soft rumbling of the thunder as if telling me everything will be alright.

Good will come out of this situation. I will continue to hope against all odds, Lord, that good really will come out of this.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I love you save souls.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I love you, save souls.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I love you, save souls.